Another Day Blowing By

Jan 29
2008

http://www.bennycornett.com

Man, the wind is blowing worse than a toothless hooker on a Friday night in Vegas. I can’t believe how nasty the weather has been lately. Global warming must be causing all of these wild weather patterns. We start out early in the morning around 29 degrees then end up at 70 degrees. That’s gotta be wonderful for everybody’s allergies and sinuses. I can look out the window and see the top soil of Lubbock Texas blowing by. I have always wondered were all the dirt goes. You see it blow by but were does it end up at. You would think that our elevation would climb by 1 foot every time we have a sand storm.

Has everybody seen James Cross’s new blog site? Check it out and let me know what you think about it. Or better yet, let James know if you like it or not.

Weight Loss

Jan 25
2008

http://www.bennycornett.com

This is for all you men out there trying to lose a pound or two.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, “If you can catch me, you can have me.”

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, “If you catch me you can have me”.
Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

“Are you sure?” asks the representative on the phone. “This is our most rigorous program.”

“Absolutely,” he replies, “I haven’t felt this good in years.”
The next day there’s a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,

“If I catch you, your ass is mine.” He lost 63 pounds that week.

With my luck I would have tripped, while trying to turn and run, then gained about four pounds…ouch.

Horrible Weekend!

Jan 22
2008

http://www.bennycornett.com

Oh My God, I had a horrible weekend.

It all started Friday when a crappy cold front blew in. With the cold front there was a nasty virus floating around that most everybody contracted. I was one of the unlucky people that contracted it. I woke up Saturday morning hugging the toilet trying to figure out where in the hell all of this fluid was coming from. I couldn’t believe the amount of fluid that was leaving my body. I know, I know, TMI right. I spent the rest of the day in bed trying to keep from vomiting again. I didn’t eat or drink anything all day due to this crap. Well, late Saturday night, or should I say early Sunday morning, I flew out of the bed. Running as fast as I could towards the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth I ran smack dab into the entertainment center that is setting in our bedroom due to our living room remodel. I bounced off of it damn near falling on my back in the middle of the floor. My hand never left my mouth and in an instance I was back up running to the bathroom. It had to be a funny site but nobody was up to see it. Anyhow, I was hugging the toilet once again. This time there was more volume than before. I couldn’t believe the amount of fluid that was leaving my body. I was thinking to myself, where did all of these fluids come from, how could there be this much crap in my body; man is this ever going to end. At one point I started getting scared that my ass hole was going to shoot out into the toilet. Lucky for me it didn’t. Sunday and Monday were days of recovery for me. I’m still not feeling 100 percent but I sure do feel better.

Since it was such a great experience for me I thought that I would share it with the world. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. ;)

Happy Friday

Jan 18
2008

http://www.bennycornett.com

TGIF

This week has drained me between TSTC work, my business work, and Zack’s basketball practices. The older you get the more tied up your schedule becomes.

Oh well, life goes on.

James and I have been talking about these people that are making a living blogging. I think that James would be one of two people that I know that could make a successful go of it. Mari is the other person that I think could do well with a blog. I really need to get her a blog setup and see what happens. I would love to be able to make a living blogging also but you need to have some writing skills…that’s something that, in my own opinion, I lack. I also blog too infrequently. I’ll get on a roll and my number of visitors will start to climb and then bam, I stop blogging for a week or two. I get caught up in the real world doing one of the many things that I do.

Funny Video on You Tube

Jan 15
2008

http://www.bennycornett.com

Mari was showing me this video that she saw on www.dooce.com the other day. I thought it was so funny that I had to pass it along to all my friends.

Young preacher and his slip of the tongue

Enjoy and don’t forget to feed the fish. Just left click in the fish tank and it will feed them.