Very Funny

Feb 22
2006

http://www.bennycornett.com

Don’t Fart in Bed.

If this story doesn’t make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the
husband’s habit
farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The
noise would wake his wife
and
the smell would make her eyes water and
make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to
stop ripping them off
because
it was making her sick. He told her he
couldn’t stop it and that
it
was perfectly natural. She told him to see
a doctor; she was
concerned
that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he
continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was
preparing the turkey for
dinner and he
was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at
the bowl where
she had put the turkey innards and neck,
gizzard, liver and all
the
spare parts and a malicious thought came to
her. She took the bowl
and
went upstairs where her husband was sound
asleep and, gently
pulling
back the bed covers, she pulled back the
elastic waistband of his
underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey
guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband
waken with his usual
trumpeting
which was followed by a blood curdling
scream and the sound of
frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The
wife could hardly
control
herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes!
After
years of torture she reckoned she had got
him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband
came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a
look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, “Honey, you w ere right. All these
years you have warned
me and
I didn’t listen to you.”

“What do you mean?” asked his wife

Well, you always told me that one day I
would end up farting my
guts
out, and today it finally happened.

&g! t; But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,
and two fingers, I think
I got
most of them back in.”